Tactics and Tips to Help You Avoid Separation Anxiety at Night In time, your baby will learn that you’ll still be there in the morning. Try to stay calm and develop a consistent pattern of behavior during this phase. This can be a trying and exhausting situation for both you and your baby, but rest assured that this period will pass. It can be challenging if your baby feels anxious when you leave the room before bed, or wakes and is upset to find you’re not there during the night. He’ll eventually turn his attention to the person with him. Remind yourself that your baby’s tears will subside after you leave. This helps develop your child’s trust and will help build his confidence that he can make it through the time spent apart. Make sure you return when you say you will. Reassure your baby that you will come back for him later in the day, citing a specific time: “I’ll be back after you eat lunch.” Spend some time playing with him before slipping away. If you need to drop your baby off at a sitter's or daycare, try not to just drop him off and rush out the door. Eventually your baby will learn from this practice that nothing bad is going to happen if you leave his sight.Ĭreate an exit ritual. If he cries after you’ve left, call to him to comfort him, but don’t return right away. If you need to leave the room briefly (after making sure the room is safe for him to be in), tell your baby where you’re headed and when you’ll come back. When this happens, if it’s safe, instead of following him right away, wait a while. Leave-taking is a lot easier when your baby initiates the separation, such as when he crawls into another room. This is your chance to slip away unnoticed. If you’ve handed your baby off to someone else, have this person create a distraction, whether it’s with a new toy, playing in front of a mirror, or even a bath. If your baby is sick, try to spend as much time with him as possible.ĭon’t make a big deal out of it. Your baby is more susceptible to separation anxiety when tired, hungry, or sick. If you need to leave, try to do so when your baby is more likely to feel calm, such as after naptime or after you’ve fed him. These are some steps you can take to cope with your baby’s separation anxiety: How to Deal With Your Baby’s Separation Anxiety Check in with your child's healthcare provider if you’re concerned about your child’s anxiety. In some rare circumstances, separation anxiety can last through the elementary school years. In other words, you can help your toddler learn to await your return instead of throwing a tantrum ( get tips on eliminating tantrums). For a 1-year-old, brief periods of separation ( more on this in the next section) can help develop his independence. Just be aware that how you react can influence how he responds in a similar situation later on.Īs your baby becomes a toddler, he may still show signs of separation anxiety. It’s natural for you to want to comfort your little one when he’s upset. For example, if your response during a crying spell is to run and comfort your baby, he may learn that a crying fit will prevent you from leaving in the future. The length of the separation anxiety period may be affected by how you respond to certain situations. It usually goes away during the last half of your baby’s second year. How Long Does Separation Anxiety Last?Īll children develop on their own timelines, but the separation anxiety phase typically peaks when a baby is between 10 months and 18 months old. Without any understanding of time (this doesn't develop until she's older), she won't know when you'll return or even if you will return and may cry or put up a fuss. Even though she knows you still exist, she will become upset because she can't see you. This is called object permanence.įor example, if you leave the room your baby will know that you’ve gone away. That’s because between 4 and 7 months babies begin to realize that people and objects exist even when they can’t see them. For many babies, separation anxiety starts at around 8 months of age, but you may start seeing indications of separation anxiety in your baby as early as 4 months.
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